I woke up the next morning to the wailing of the alarm clock -the one in my head; a reminder that i was expecting two visitors that morning. Silifah. Ella. I was in total confusion of how to salvage the dilemma that i was in, but i managed to put my room in order and washed all washables: even the ones that did not require washing amidst the confusion. I changed the pillow cases and the bed sheet to something whiter -first impression is everything. It was not until few minutes past twelve that i was forced to call them both. I hate to appear desperate but it was past noon and neither of them had called to say whether they were coming or not. Silifah’s number was not reachable or was it switched off? I cannot recall. Ella on the other hand had called me with her room mate’s phone the other day and i had found out after i dialled the number i supposed was hers. I was told she went to school for something urgent. Hian! After all the headache of doing a seven days sanitation in one morning? And it was already past three. I was getting ready for my evening football game when my phone rang. It was Ella. She asked if i was home. I did not even think it twice; i said i was home and going nowhere. She demanded for my room number which i gave to her. You should have seen the speed with which i ditched my boots and jumped out of the football jersey. Did she not say she was five minutes away? I laid the already ruffled bedsheet again. Suddenly the room didn’t smell nice, few puffs of the air freshner here and there would be alright. I went for the airwick and my phone started ringing; Wow, She’s here already. I answered the unknown caller…
“hello?” “Baron, howfar? I misplaced my phone this morning. Are you home? I want to start coming over.” that was Silifah’s voice.
“uhhh…erm…i am not at home right now o. I am helping a friend with something.”
“aww!” she didn’t hide her disappointment. “When will you be back?”
“I am not so sure for now,” i mumbled.
“okay. Maybe we will see some other time then. I am travelling tomorrow.”
Two minutes after i got off the phone with Silifah, Ella called me to say she was outside my door and i went to open for her. Ella walked in looking so hot and fresh in her crop top and leggings. I just kept staring inbetween her thighs, just at that point where her legs are joined, at the shape of her woman due to the tightness of the material she had on. Goodness me! She has come to steal, to kill and to destroy. The warning bell was going to tick but i switched it off. I wasn’t sure that was the smartet thing to do but i did anyways. “please come in, sit down,” i said almost breathless. She smiled and took the bed. She must have noticed my discomfort. I prayed for her not to notice my growing zippers I sat down and threw a pillow over my laps after serving her a bottle of malt drink from the fridge. We talked for three long hours. Three long hours she did the talking and i, the listening. I grew bored and tired and my ears got sick that for the next two days the words she used most resounded in my ear drums, “model…supermodel…beauty contest…win.” she gave me a list of eight modelling agencies and ask which i prefer she worked with. Seven out of the eight agencies were frauds; i knew their owners. In fact, they were no agencies at all but just group of hungry young men looking to exploit young ladies with the big dreams of becoming super models.
‘FAB N GRACE’ modelling agency was owned by Victor Chambers aka Vicks. He gets girls, tall, short, pretty and ugly alike to register with a sum of five thousand naira and demand that they pay another five thousand naira for photo session in order to build for them portfolios with which he would use to get jobs for them from the various multimillion companies in the country and abroad. The girls are then made to pay one thousand naira each as monthly dues. It was crazy how the girls wouldn’t stop trooping in. He actually gets them jobs sometimes; as ushers in events. I explained to her what she was ignorant of and that was when Ella told me she had already registered with two out of the eight agencies. She registered that very day and that was her reason for coming later than she said she would. Why then did she bother to ask for my opinion when she had already registered? “i was thinking of registering with two more agencies to broaden my chances of getting known.” My jaws clenched tight that it hurt and not even the ‘camel toe’ nor her sweat-beaded cleavage could drop them. To think that i told Slifah off for this Alice in wonderland stories made me bite on my lips that i almost drew blood. Finally, when she was ready to go, she gave to me her own phone number and told me she liked me more because i was a patient listener. She said i paid attention while she talked on endlessly about what does not concern me and i cut her short by saying it actually was my concern; everything that had to do with her concerns me. It was a lie initially, but it became true over time. She asked if i coukd accompany her to a beauty contest later that night at White View Hotel and i said she should call me when she was ready to go. We hugged and she took her leave.
Ella had a problem, a very big problem; she was so obsessed with becoming a beauty queen and super model that she could spend her last dime for registerations and tickets to events. She was never going to be a beauty queen. There was no way she would make a runway model, not with those bowlegs of hers. She was pretty, yes. She would have done great in billboard and photography modelling, but she was not interested in those. She wanted the runways and pageants and that made it so hard for me to tell her the bitter truth, “Ella, nobody can become a runway model with legs like yours.” What difference would my words make when all the supposed model scouts she met told her just how qualified she was to be a supermodel.
Well, that was one hell of a day. Even though the growing zippers during the day was fun, that was as far as i was willing to let that go. Nothing was going to make me go to that event beauty contest with Ella. I laid back on my bed and closed my eyes.
That was on my door. I looked up at the wall clock; 6:45 pm. I got up and pulled the door open….guess who?